Saturday, July 31, 2010

FALL

It's been fun,
It really has,
But now I must run,
And all that jazz.

So I'll make a note*
I'll say goodbye,
No time to dote,
For I must fly!

@M, keep at it!
This too shall pass.
@Zeke, don't panic!
Morning comes fast.

To all the others:
I bid thee adue.
To my dear brother:
I'm sorry it had to be you:

http://iammyborthersbody.blogspot.com/

So while you're dyeing,
I'll weep away,
And while I'm crying,
I'll have reached freedom today!

FINAL THOUGHT:
I'M STILL ALIVE,
AND I'M FREE!
STILL ALIVE,
STILL ME!


*(HUGE SUCCESS!)

Thursday, July 29, 2010

I have no other option

I have to go back to that tree. I can't remember the last three days. I've lost all the money I had with me. I feel sick, and I've developed a cough.

I woke up today in a hotel room, with my last memory being of me going to sleep on a park bench. That Lego toy was tapped to the ceiling, and the papers from Andrew's journal (that must be what they are) were pinned up around it. I found my camera smashed and on the floor; Andrew is the only one who could have done all this. He's taunting me, first with that video now with this.

I have to go back. It's my only option. If I keep running I'll die, either from exhaustion/starvation or Him. It should only take a day or two to get back, but knowing what happened last time, it may be a while before I post again...or I might already have. I don't know what will happen, or why he wants me back...those papers where useless to me, just like that video.

I feel Him watching me now. I have to go. I'm just some kid, heh, I'm just another fool, I can't go on forever...

Goodby.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

From, Andrew

video

Return,
It's almost time. So close.

It will all be over soon...

~~Andrew

Sunday, July 25, 2010

The Papers

As I said yesterday, I found a wadded up ball of papers when I when to the tree, after I apparently...went back in time.
Goddammit, how is that possible?
And I know Andrew knew about it. I'm almost certain he did it himself. It explains a lot of what's been happening to me...
Bu, anyway, I've calmed down enough, here's the first of the papers:


The rest are in this video, I couldn't get any good pictures of them:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNGzbVbYau4

The second paper is hard to make out, it says, "Dear Journal, I can't remember the last two days, but I remember Him. I remember Him, I saw Him. He found me." On the third and fourth, all the "Yes"s are written in pen, as well as the "It worked"s. I have no idea what that last one says, and I don't have any time to examine them further, I'm leaving this town, for real this time, before I run into myself.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

I threw up after I realized what happened

I decided to go there, to that tree. Even after I finally decided to leave town, that video kept nagging me. But the last straw was when He showed up. He came out of nowhere, just appeared in front of me the second I looked away from the road I was walking on. I blacked out, and the next thing I knew I was running back towards town. I made my way to the place Andrew told me to go to, it was a tree on the edge of a field, hidden behind some bushes and near a fence.



There was nothing there. I looked all around the place, there was nothing. Only an operator symbol cut into the tree's bark. But then, as I decided to leave, I noticed a few crumpled up papers that were lying out in front of the tree, in plain sight. I had no idea how I could have missed them, in fact, I could have sworn that they were definitely not there before. This scared me. I bent down to grab them, but I hit my head on my camera, which was hanging from a tree branch, where nothing had been a second before. I almost pissed myself. I sprinted back home, not caring if He could find me there or not.



I sat on my bed, trying to calm down, when I looked at my clock. It was 11:30am, today. I had looked at my watch before going to the tree, and it had said 11:50am.

On the 27th.


I don't know how Andrew did it, I don't know how it's even possible, but it happened. I can't think strait right now; I have to rest; I have to calm down. I have to bring myself to look at these papers.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

The video

Thank you, M.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4i1miWy368

I know where that is, that place Andrew's at. It was close to our old house...But why there? Andrew, speak to me, what's the significance? Please!

And as for the code...how did that get there? There's an extra part to it too: ALL. I have no idea what that means. I have no idea how I could have written that...but it was during the time I was blacked out. Maybe...no, it couldn't have been Andrew, could it?

This is too much. I have to rest and think before I do anything more.

EDIT: I forgot to mention I finally found the time to switch over the blog to my personal email account, so everything won't be posted by "The Hawker Family" anymore.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

A hidden message?

Well, I don't know if some of you have noticed or not, but Andrew left this comment on my last post:

"Here's your help:

http://www.youtube.com/watch? [missing] = [missing] 4 [missing] 1 [missing] [missing] W [missing] 368

Find and see. 18th. Go.
"

I have no idea what the missing letters or numbers might be. Or what 18th means. I'm posting this from a Starbucks, as I'm trying to keep moving, even if it's just around this city. I would have left by now but I know Andrew's still here somewhere; my camera's gone again, and today I woke up to see that toy tapped to me sealing (is that spelled right?), it almost seemed to be staring at me.

I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. If I can't figure this "[missing]" riddle out within a week, I'm going to run. I know He's getting closer to finding me. He's catching on to my attempts to avoid Him. That and I can only spend so many consecutive nights at friend's houses without mom getting suspicious.

Also, I was really freaking out in my last blog post, I apologize for that...

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Help

I can't sleep. I can't remember what happened today. I'm panicking. Andrew is still alive. He's commenting on this blog. Yet I can't talk to him. He's alive. Yet I know there was a body. Who's body? Andrew, how are you still alive? TALK TO US.

I can't run. He knows where I am, I know He's watching. I know He's waiting. I don't know what to do. I can't run, I can't plan. I can't remember.

SOMEBODY HELP.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Revalation

I was going to leave. Then Andrew posted. He pretended to be my brother. I got pissed. I was packed and ready, so I stormed out my door into the hall. On the ground was my camera. Standing at the end of the hall was Slender Man. I grabbed the camera and ran to my room. I blacked out after I saw what was on there:


Andrew is still alive. Those pictures are of him, from two days ago. And he's been commenting on this blog...HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE!? You were cremated, we spread your ashes.
YOU ARE DEAD.
How? How is this possible!?
HOW!?

Monday, July 12, 2010

nononoNo
nonoNono
nono
NoNo
nono
NonoNoNo
noNo
noNonono
noNonono

THIS IS NOT POSSIBLE

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Decision

Man it is late. I'm so tired. I've spent the last five days pretty much away from home: some nights at friend's houses, one at my girlfriend's, I even slept on a park bench last night, after telling mom I was at Gabe's for the night...but it hasn't helped. My sleeping has been sporadic and brief; I keep waking up, scared half to death. I know what I've done for the last five days, but I don't remember any of the details. And I'm getting paranoid, I keep looking over my shoulder, thinking I see Him, running like mad when I think I do. And the dreams. No, The Dream, it has become so vivid I can make out individual splinters as the wood gives way and explodes in the heat and flame. That's what woke me up just now. I'm at my house again, but I don't remember coming here...but I know I came under way own will.

I'm leaving tomorrow. I've made up my mind. Just staying away from the house won't work, I've got to get out of this town. I don't know where to go, exactly, I don't know how I'll survive exactly. But I won't just walk into His arms, I won't just lay down and accept defeat. I'll run. I'm leaving tomorrow, after mom's gone to work.

I'm scared, but I can't see any other way out of this...I don't know whether I'll post here anymore, but I will if I can.

Goodbye, at least for now.
-Anthony

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Calm Danger

Well, I got out of the house today, after Rachel, that's my girlfriend, came over. Honestly, after all this stuff that's been happening, I completely forgot about her. >.< Anyway, we hung out for most of the day and I had lunch at her house, so I avoided this place for the majority of the day. When I got back to my house He wasn't there, I was so glad...Also, we went to see Toy Story 3, that really cheered me up, and I've been in a good mood ever since.

Well, sort of. I finally managed to look up Sender Man; that's Him. Definitely Him. But it's strange, I'm not panicking or anything, I have this odd feeling of complacency. What I'm really worried about is why me? I've never seen or heard of him before, unless....Andrew. That toy of his is the only link, but he never acted strangely, he was completely normal until the fire, he couldn't have been stalked by Him...could he?

That brings me to another point, someone asked how the fire was started. Well, mom said the report concluded that it was an electrical fire, but they're not sure of the cause, they say it was probably due to "bad splicing," but I'm not sure what that means. Although I'd bet that it was due to Him, somehow...

Man, I'm surprised how well I'm taking this...

Now, I need help. I don't know what to do, I've seen another blog, it was "Seek Truth" or something like that, and I know I can't fend him off like that guy can. Most of you seem to know about this thing, and I need your help. Please, how do I avoid him? Should I tell mom about it? What do I do?

P.S. I can't seem to read the comments on my last few posts, and I tried replying to one I did see, twice, but it never registered. Is anyone else having this problem?

Monday, July 5, 2010

Alright, I've calmed down now. I can see you're all worried. I'll try to explain what happened, exactly.

So, ever since I saw that...guy...he's been waiting in front of the elevator, staring at it. I took the stairs whenever I had to go out, and I avoided looking at him, so I never noticed anything else odd. Until yesterday, when he was standing at the foot of the stairs, string up at me. You people don't seem surprised by this, but, he didn't have a face. There was just a blank slate staring at me. I don't know how, but he did. He just stared. I ran back to our apartment scared half to death, yet with this irrational desire to tell someone about it. But then I saw the toy, it was standing in front of the computer. Yes, someone had propped it up so it stood. I shut myself in my room for the next few hours, nobody else was home, until I got the courage to go back out. The toy was gone. I can't find it anywhere. I posted right afterward.

That night, I had that dream again. It gets more vivid each time. I really have no idea what to do, I tried to look up that "Slender Man" thing, like you guys suggested but my internet keeps spazzing out. I only seem to be able to load this blog right now.

Also, my camera is missing. Gone. I have no idea how. Probably the same reason as the toy. I don't have a mask. I don't know why you guys are suggesting these things. I don't know what to do...I'm so scared, I don't dare to go back down stairs alone.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck
THAT GUY HAS NO FACE.
God, dammit. What the fuuck is going on, what the HELL. He just stands there, staring at the elevator, waiting for me. WHAT IS THAT THING. It had no face. NO FACE. Ggod dammit, and that dream...its back....I'm in Andrews room, BURNING. I feel him staring at me...what the fuck is that!?

I thought, that first time, that he was looking the other way. I realize now he was staring right at me. Watching me. I take the stairs, I see him waiting for me at the elevator, but now he's learned. Now he KNOWS. He stared right at me. I SAW HIM.

That toy was him, I see that now...but it's gone. It's gone. I don't know what to do...I don't know what to say...all these problems, with the computer, with the TV, with my camera, too much is happening; nothing works. He had no face. What the hell am I doing? I'm lost, alone, afraid.

HELP ME.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

What the hell...

I don't know what to think of this...I walked into my room a minute ago and it was there, sitting on my bed:

I dontt know what to do. I'm scared. How did it get there? Who put it there? How did they put it there? What does the writing on its face mean? God, too much is happening too fast...and no one's home, this is the only place I have to turrn too right now...help, someone?

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Frreaky

UUhhh, I don't know where to start exactly...I can't think strait right now...

Well, first of I had that dream again. It came back, only worse. I could tell I was surrounded by flames, and I was in Andrew's room...it almost felt like I was Andrew...Then, in the morning, I went on a run alone. The entire time I felt like I was being watched, and it was mentally hard to run, like I had to push myself just to keep going. That dream really affected me, I feel like doing nothing all day now...

But that's not what got to me. When I was done with my run, I had entered the elevator to get to our house (our apartment's on the second floor), when I saw that new guy. There are two hallways that lead to the elevator, one coming from the east and one coming from the north. The elevator itself looks out on the north hallway, but I didn't look there until after I had pushed the button to go up. As the doors closed, I saw what I later realized had to be that new guy: someone standing in the middle of the hall, in all black, looking at something at the end of the hall. The last thing I saw was his head tilted at a weird angle, and that's what really freaked me out. I don't know why he was there, but it seamed like he could have stood there all day. And what was he looking at? The fact that he was just there, just standing there, staring at something, that spooked me for some reason. It's just how odd that is.

I had to post about this, I had to tell someone just to help me calm down...mom's not home yet, but maybe she'll see him too when she gets back, maybe I could tell her...

Gha! Maybe I'm just overreacting...

Monday, June 28, 2010

New Day

Well, today was a good day. To start, I didn't have that dream again, and I feel like a weight's been lifted from my shoulders. I finally started to go to Cross Country practice again, and I felt pretty good after the run, although I'm out of shape from not doing anything for the past two weeks. After I showered at home I hung out with my girlfriend at her house for the rest of the day; we hadn't see each other since the fire, and we talked about us, Andrew, what was going on in our lives, and pretty much anything that came to mind. That entire time was bittersweet, at some points we were laughing hysterically while at others we were on the brink of tears...

Other then that, I think someone just moved into the apartment complex, like a business guy or something. It's weird because before I didn't notice things like that, but now I realize I'm really observant and I notice anything out of the ordinary or anybody new; I hadn't seen the guy before, but I got a few glances of him twice, once in the morning and when I came back, so he's probably here to stay.

Oh! And I just remembered, I think I lost that toy of Andrew's...I can't find it anywhere. Although I could have sword I put it in my closet, it's not there! :(
Ah, oh well, at least I have a picture... -Anthony

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Goodby

This is Elie. I'll just get to the point: I'm not going to post on this blog anymore. Kyle and I originally thought this up to help Anthony deal with Andrew's loss; He's not very expressive and usually keeps most of his problems to himself, and I was afraid that would have a bad effect on his emotional heath. I thought that him having a blog to express his feelings on would be a good idea, but he didn't want to do it alone, so we all decided to make this blog. However, he's had a change of heart, so we talked it over, and decided to make this his personal blog about Andrew's loss or whatever else might be bugging him.

Thank you, to the few who follow this right now, for being so supportive thus far.

Leaving

Well, I won't be able to post for a while after this. In a few hours I'm leaving on a business trip that should last about two weeks. I don't really want to go, I'd rather be home with Elie, but if I go I'll finally get a promotion, and we need the stability that would provide right now.

Anyway, things have gotten better at work. I'm not as unfocused as I used to be, and I'm not constantly stressed out about everything. Although I always get depressed when we eat dinner. Elie and I were thinking about going to a family counselor with Anthony, but I'm leaving on this trip, and we're not sure if we could afford it until afterward... -Kyle

Saturday, June 26, 2010

I had that dream again. I don't why I keep having it. It's just the same thing: fire and heat, and yet somehow I know I'm in our house. This is really freaking me out...maybe I should see a counselor? -Anthony

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Found Something

Alright, the only thing I found was this, one of the Legos Andrew used to collect. He was really into them. I don't know which one this is, though we used to know all their names and stories. =/
Hopefully this picture is good enough:

Huh. This is sad, this is the only one left out of his entire collection. He had tonnes of these! Now the rest are just melted plastic...Huh. :(

Bad Dreams

Well, hello again. This is Anthony. I've gotten a little better over the last few days, but last night I kept having this dream. I was back at the night of the fire, but I was inside the house when it happened. I could feel the heat, and see the flames, but I'm not sure where I was exactly. But I know I was in the house. Man, I must have really been effected by this.

There's only one box of stuff left that we haven't gone through; we stopped yesterday because mom and dad were getting too distressed. I'm going to look through it now, and I'll post anything of Andrew's if I find any.

We lost so much that night...

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

A picture



Well, we started going through what we recovered from the fire today. So far, all we've found of Andrew's is a picture of him dresses as Benito Mussolini for a History Class presentation he did last year. Elie started crying when she saw it. I've been depressed ever since because I've realize how much of Andrew's we don't have; there is so little to remember him by.

At the very least, I'll always have my memories. Heh, there was this one time, I remember, when Andrew was little, we were trying to get him out of dippers and into underwear, but he said dippers were too comfortable. A few days later, Andrew's cousins were over and they started teasing him about the fact he still wore dippers when Anthony didn't. Andrew immediately became potty trained. It was hilarious.

Man, this helps, really, even if no one reads this, just talking about it helps. Oh, and Anthony seems to be getting a little better, he hasn't been laying in bed all day today. -Kyle

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Andrew

I miss him. I can't begin to express how much I miss him. I think what I shall miss most is his relentless desire to know. He was curious about everything, he always asked questions. If he encountered any problem, any at all, he would work at it until he solved it. He almost never asked for help either. I was so proud of him.

We had no where to go after the house burnt down. We stayed at my sister's place for a few days before moving into this apartment complex. I've had to work every day since the fire; its so hard to focus there, I can't stop thinking of Andrew. I was offered leave, but we can't afford it; I have to work overtime. Our family was in a tight spot even before we lost everything, and now it's so hard, mentally, to keep going on. -Kyle

I miss my brother

I don't know how to say this. I was never really that close to my brother, but I still feel a gnawing emptiness in my heart. I never realized until now how much I loved the guy. My life is pretty much back to normal now, even though we're living in a small apartment instead of our house, but I can't operate normally anymore. It seems I must really push myself to do the most basic things, like get out of bead, or get up for water...

Like right now its even hard to type. I'm sorry, I'd like to say more, but I just can't right now. -Anthony

My Son

Huh. Where to begin. I still can't believe my son is gone. He was a bright, imaginative boy, always excelling in school. The night he died the rest of us had gone out to diner, but Andrew stayed home because he was feeling sick. Ah, I can hardly type this without tearing up. All that I remember after we first saw the fire trucks and smoke is the pain and anguish I felt.

I cried myself to sleep for two nights after it happened. But I'm getting better. I can at least get through the day now, but if I think about him for long I can't help but cry. -Elie

Introduction

Hello, this blog is dedicated to my son, Andrew, who passed away tragically last week at the age of sixteen. Our family has created this blog to help deal with his loss by posting our thoughts and memories of him and to preserve his memory; almost everything we had of him was lost in the house fire that killed him, and we do not have the means to do anything else in his memory. My son, Anthony, my husband, Kyle, and I will be using this site and will hopefully be able to honor his memory. -Elie